Anxiety is a natural response to stress or danger, often described as the body’s alarm system. While a certain level of anxiety can be helpful—motivating us to prepare for a presentation or avoid risky situations—when anxiety becomes overwhelming, persistent, or disproportionate, it can interfere with daily life.

For many individuals, understanding the mechanics of anxiety and the anxiety cycle is a powerful first step toward managing it. Anxiety is not a sign of weakness or failure. It is the result of a biological and emotional process meant to protect us, though it sometimes misfires.

What is Anxiety?

At its core, anxiety is a response to perceived threats. When our brain detects danger—real or imagined—it activates the fight, flight, or freeze response. This is a survival mechanism designed to help us escape or confront threats.

For example, if you encounter a bear in the forest, anxiety heightens your awareness, quickens your heartbeat, and releases adrenaline to prepare you to flee or defend yourself. However, in cases of anxiety disorders, this same response is triggered by situations or thoughts that are not life-threatening—like speaking in public, social interactions, or everyday worries.

Common symptoms of anxiety include:

• Physical: Rapid heartbeat, muscle tension, nausea, sweating, or dizziness;
• Emotional: Overwhelming fear, restlessness, or irritability;
• Cognitive: Catastrophic thinking, overestimating risks, or fixating on worst-case scenarios; and,
• Behavioural: Avoiding situations, seeking reassurance, or engaging in safety behaviours to reduce perceived threats.

The Anxiety Cycle

The anxiety cycle is a self-perpetuating loop that keeps anxiety alive and growing. Understanding this cycle can help individuals recognize patterns and take steps to break it.

1. Trigger: Anxiety often starts with a trigger, which might be an event, situation, thought, or memory. Triggers can be external (a loud noise, a deadline) or internal (a worry about the future, physical sensations).
2. Perceived Threat: The brain interprets the trigger as a threat, even if it is not dangerous. For example, the thought of giving a presentation might feel as threatening as encountering a bear.
3. Physical and Emotional Response: This perceived threat activates the fight, flight, or freeze response, leading to physical symptoms like a racing heart or tight chest. Emotionally, this might manifest as fear or dread.
4. Avoidance or Safety Behaviours: To reduce anxiety, people often engage in avoidance or safety behaviours. For example, someone afraid of public speaking might avoid presentations entirely, or someone worried about germs might excessively wash their hands.
5. Short-Term Relief, Long-Term Reinforcement: Avoidance or safety behaviours provide immediate relief, which reinforces the idea that the threat was real and that avoidance was necessary. Over time, this strengthens the anxiety and makes it more likely to resurface in similar situations.

This cycle can feel relentless, trapping individuals in patterns of fear and avoidance.

What Makes Anxiety Worse?

Several factors can intensify anxiety and keep the cycle going:

• Avoidance: While it may feel like a relief in the moment, avoiding situations or triggers prevents us from learning that the feared outcome might not occur.
• Reassurance-Seeking: Constantly asking for reassurance from others can make you feel dependent and reinforce the idea that the situation is dangerous.
• Negative Self-Talk: Harsh self-criticism or catastrophic thinking can fuel anxiety, making it harder to manage.
• Sleep Deprivation: Lack of sleep impacts the brain’s ability to regulate emotions, increasing feelings of anxiety.
• Over-Scheduling: Constant busyness can increase stress and leave little room for rest, reflection, or acceptance of these feelings, therefore exacerbating the anxiety.
• Caffeine or Stimulants: These can amplify physical symptoms of anxiety, such as a racing heart or jitteriness.

What Makes Anxiety Better?

Breaking the anxiety cycle takes practice, patience, and sometimes professional support. Small, consistent efforts can create meaningful change.

• Gradual Exposure: Facing fears in small, manageable steps can teach the brain that the situation is not as dangerous as it feels. For instance, if social anxiety makes it difficult to join conversations, start by practicing small interactions, like saying hello to a neighbour.
• Challenge Anxious Thoughts: Cognitive techniques, such as questioning catastrophic thoughts, can help reframe worries. Ask yourself, “What is the evidence for and against this fear? What is the most likely outcome?”
• Engage in Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation can calm the body’s stress response.
• Build Tolerance for Discomfort: Sitting with anxious feelings rather than immediately trying to escape them can reduce their intensity over time. Anxiety often peaks and then naturally diminishes if we allow ourselves to feel it.
• Make Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and consistent sleep can improve resilience to stress.
• Seek Supportive Relationships: Connecting with trusted friends, family, or a professional can reduce feelings of isolation and help process worries.
• Seek Professional Support: Sometimes, the anxiety cycle is difficult to break alone. Reaching out to a registered counsellor, social worker, psychologist, or behaviour analyst can provide tools tailored to your needs.

If you or your child are struggling with anxiety, know that you are not alone. Anxiety is not a personal failing. It is a human experience. The goal is not to eliminate anxiety altogether, but to reduce its intensity and regain a sense of control.

Next Steps

At Willow and Sage Counselling, we understand the challenges that anxiety can bring, especially when it begins to impact your daily life or your child’s ability to thrive. Our Surrey and Burnaby locations, as well as our online counselling services, offer a safe space to explore these feelings and learn practical strategies to manage them.

If you are ready to take the first step toward breaking the anxiety cycle, we are here to help. Together, we can build the tools and confidence needed to face anxiety with courage and compassion. Reach out today to learn more about how Willow and Sage Counselling can support you or your family.