At Willow and Sage Counselling, we understand how challenging it can be to help young children navigate difficult tasks and transitions. Whether it’s moving from one activity to another, completing a chore, or participating in something they do not want to do, it is common for young children to avoid these tasks. However, there are strategies that can foster cooperation and reduce conflict, one of which is the use of “First, Then” contingencies with the use of intentional reinforcement.

In this blog, we will explore how the “First, Then” method works, why it is effective, and how you can use it to support your child in navigating tasks and transitions more smoothly.

What are “First, Then” Contingencies?

“First, Then” contingencies are a simple, but highly effective strategy used in behaviour support strategies, especially for young children. The technique works by setting clear expectations and reinforcing cooperation with a preferred activity or reward. The structure follows a simple, predictable format:

• “First:” This is the task or activity that your child needs to complete. It’s usually something that the child is less motivated to do; and,
• “Then:” This is the preferred activity or reward that the child will get once the first task is completed. It serves as an incentive for cooperation.

For example:

• “First, put your shoes on, then you can play with your toys.”
• “First, finish your homework, then we’ll watch the movie.”

This strategy provides clarity, reduces anxiety around transitions, and helps children understand the sequence of events. Over time, it can be an incredibly powerful tool for teaching children to engage in tasks they typically avoid or struggle with.

Why is “First, Then” so Effective?

There are several reasons why the “First, Then” contingency method is so effective for young children, especially those who struggle with transitions or challenging tasks:

1. Clear Expectations

By stating exactly what is expected and what comes next, children have a clear understanding of the task at hand and the incentive to completing the task. Young children have not developed the ability to see far into the future. Sharing the steps clearly informs them and helps build this skill. This clarity can reduce confusion and help children feel more in control, which can reduce resistance and frustration.

2. Immediate Reinforcement

The “Then” component provides an immediate positive interaction after completing the task. Positive reinforcement is crucial for encouraging cooperation, boundaries, and routines. Children are more likely to repeat actions that lead to enjoyable outcomes. Immediate reinforcement is more motivating for younger children, as they often struggle with delayed gratification.

3. Building Cooperation and Positive Behavior

By consistently using the “First, Then” approach, you are teaching your child that cooperation with their parents request can lead to more positive and less stressful interactions. This builds a pattern of momentum and over time, they will learn to associate the completion and initiation of less-preferred tasks with positive outcomes, making transitions easier in the future and as they get older. 

4. Reduces Anxiety

Transitions can be a source of anxiety for many young children, especially if they feel pressured or overwhelmed. The “First, Then” contingency offers them something to look forward to, reducing resistance and encouraging smoother transitions. This method helps children feel less stressed knowing that once they complete a task, something enjoyable will follow.

How to Implement “First, Then” Contingencies

Now that we have explored the theory behind “First, Then” contingencies, let’s look at practical tips for using this strategy with your child.

1. Keep it Simple and Direct

When giving instructions, keep them simple and direct. Use clear, age-appropriate language that your child can easily understand. For example, instead of saying, “We need to get dressed and then we can go outside,” you could say, “First, put on your shoes, then we will go outside to play.”

2. Make the “Then” Reward Meaningful

The “Then” part of the contingency is the most crucial element because it’s what motivates your child to cooperate. Ensure that the reward is something meaningful to your child—whether that’s a favorite toy, extra playtime, or a special activity. The reward should be something they look forward to, increasing the chances of successful cooperation.

3. Be Consistent

Consistency is key when using “First, Then” contingencies. Children thrive on predictability. They will begin to learn that cooperating with the first task always leads to the enjoyable outcome. Make sure you follow through with the “Then” reward every time to reinforce the connection between task completion and reward.

4. Use Visuals (for Younger Children)

For younger children, visuals can help reinforce the “First, Then” concept. You could create a visual chart or use picture cards that show the task (First) followed by the reward (Then). This can be especially helpful if your child struggles to understand abstract concepts or verbal instructions. For example, a picture of shoes on the “First” side and a picture of a favorite toy on the “Then” side can help guide them through the process.

5. Gradually Increase Expectations

As your child becomes more accustomed to the “First, Then” structure, you can begin to increase the difficulty of the task (First) or decrease the size of the reward (Then). For example, you might start with small tasks like “First, put your jacket on, then you can watch your favorite show,” and gradually work up to more challenging tasks or multiple tasks. Over time, your child will build the skills to cooperate with tasks and transitions without as much structure and guidance. 

6. Offer Choices

For some children, feeling a sense of control over their day can reduce anxiety and help complete tasks. Try offering two options for the “First” task (e.g., “Do you want to clean up your toys first, or do you want to put your shoes on first?”). This empowers your child to make a choice, which can make the task feel less like a command and more like a shared decision.

Common Challenges and How to Handle Them

While the “First, Then” strategy can be highly effective, there may be times when your child resists or challenges the setup. Here are some common obstacles and how to handle them:

1. What if my child doesn’t want to cooperate?

If your child refuses to do the “First” task, gently but firmly remind them of the contingency. You might say, “First, we need to put on your shoes, then you can play with your toys. I’m here to help you.” Offering a gentle nudge, both physically and verbally, can sometimes encourage them to get started. If the resistance continues, try breaking the task into smaller steps or helping them ask for what they need (e.g., such as help, a break, different shoes, etc.). 

2. What if my child is not interested in the reward or “Then” activity?

If your child does the task but then refuses to accept the reward or preferred activity, there may be a few reasons they respond to this. If the reward is not motivating enough, you may want to consider a different type of incentive. You can try asking your child what they would like to include within this step to include their preferences. If the “Then” activity is not something that can be changed, calmly remind them that the “Then” is a part of the agreement. Stay consistent with your follow-through, as it helps teach your child to feel secure in what you share with them. 

Showing Compassion and Understanding

Implementing “First, Then” contingencies requires patience, consistency, and empathy. Young children are still learning how to manage their emotions; transitions can feel overwhelming at times. By providing a structure that guides them and offers a sense of security, you help your child navigate the complexities of daily life with greater ease.

Remember that all children are unique, and the process of finding the right rewards and tasks to use may take some time. Be patient with both yourself and your child as you work together to create positive and cooperative routines.

“First, Then” contingencies, paired with reinforcement, can be a transformative tool. It can foster your child’s cooperation during difficult tasks and transitions. With consistent practice, positive reinforcement, and a compassionate approach, you can help your child develop the skills they need to engage in tasks they may otherwise avoid and navigate life’s challenges with greater ease.

Next Steps 

At Willow and Sage Counselling, we are here to support you and your family through all stages of your child’s growth. If you have any questions or would like additional guidance in implementing these strategies, do not hesitate to reach out for support. We are here to help in Surrey, Burnaby, and virtually, all over BC. Reach out!