As parents and caregivers, one of the greatest gifts we can give children is the belief that they can grow and improve through effort, learning, and persistence. This is the foundation of a growth mindset, a concept made popular by psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck, which helps children view challenges as opportunities and mistakes as stepping stones to success.

By fostering a growth mindset early in life, we can help young children build resilience, self-confidence, and a love of learning that will serve them well into adulthood.

What is a Growth Mindset?

A growth mindset is the belief that abilities, intelligence, and talents are not fixed traits but can be developed with practice and hard work. In contrast, a fixed mindset assumes that our skills and intelligence are unchangeable, which can lead children to avoid challenges and fear failure.

For young children, a growth mindset means learning to embrace “I can’t do it yet” rather than “I’ll never be able to do it.” It’s about showing them that effort matters and that setbacks are part of the learning process.

Why is Growth Mindset Language Important?

The way we talk to children shapes how they view themselves and their abilities. Using growth mindset language helps children:

• Feel encouraged to take on challenges.
• Develop resilience when things don’t go as planned.
• Learn to view failure as a natural and valuable part of growing.
• Build confidence in their ability to improve over time.

Practical Growth Mindset Language for Everyday Conversations

1. Praise Effort, Not Outcomes
Instead of focusing on results, highlight the process a child went through.

• Instead of: “You’re so smart!”
• Try: “You worked really hard on this, and it shows!”

2. Use the Power of “Yet”
Adding “yet” to a sentence reminds children that they are capable of learning and improving.

• Instead of: “I can’t do this.”
• Try: “You can’t do this yet. What’s one step we can try to get closer?”

3. Normalize Mistakes
Teach children that mistakes are an essential part of learning.

• Instead of: “That’s wrong.”
• Try: “What can we learn from this? Let’s try a different way.”

4. Focus on the Process
Help children see the steps they’re taking to achieve their goals.

• Instead of: “You’re so good at drawing!”
• Try: “I can see how much effort you put into this drawing—the details are amazing!”

5. Encourage Problem-Solving
When challenges arise, guide children toward finding solutions rather than giving up.

• Instead of: “That’s too hard.”
• Try: “It’s tricky, but let’s break it down and figure it out together.”

Daily Opportunities to Foster a Growth Mindset

Children learn growth mindset principles best through lived experiences. Here are some ways to incorporate these ideas into daily life:

• Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge progress, this helps children see the value in consistent effort.
• Model growth mindset thinking: Share your own experiences of learning and growing. For example, “I used to find cooking really hard, but I kept practising, and now it’s something I enjoy!”
• Read books that encourage resilience: Stories with themes of perseverance and overcoming challenges can inspire children to adopt these values.
• Use challenges as teaching moments: When a child struggles with a task, frame it as an exciting opportunity to learn something new.
• Encourage curiosity: Respond to questions with enthusiasm, and encourage exploration and experimentation.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

1. Over-Praising
While it’s important to be encouraging, over-praising can unintentionally reinforce a fixed mindset. Aim to praise specific efforts intermittently, rather than making broad statements about a child’s abilities or parise at every single step. 

2. Protecting Children from Failure
Although it can be tempting to shield children from disappointment, doing so robs them of the chance to build resilience. Allow them to experience setbacks and support them in working through their emotions.

3. Setting Unrealistic Expectations
While it’s important to challenge children, the tasks should be attainable with effort. If a goal feels too overwhelming, help break it down into manageable steps.

Compassion and Connection: The Heart of Growth

Above all, fostering a growth mindset requires patience, empathy, and connection. Children are more likely to adopt these ideas when they feel supported and understood. Acknowledge their frustrations, validate their emotions, and remind them that growth takes time.

A child who believes they are capable of growth will not only approach challenges with confidence but also develop a lifelong love of learning and discovery.

Next Steps

At Willow and Sage Counselling, we’re here to help parents navigate the journey of raising resilient, growth-oriented children. 

Whether you’re in Surrey, Burnaby, or accessing our online counselling services, we provide support and strategies tailored to your family’s needs. Reach out today to learn more about how we can help you cultivate a growth mindset in your child.