Helping Children Under 12 Learn Emotional Regulation Through Play

Helping young children learn how to cope with big feelings can feel overwhelming—especially when meltdowns or worries seem to come out of nowhere. But just like learning to tie their shoes or ride a bike, coping is a skill that can be taught and practised.

The good news? It does not have to be boring or complicated. In fact, teaching coping strategies can be fun, playful, and engaging—especially when we lean into the natural curiosity and creativity of children.

In this post, we will explore simple and fun ways to teach coping tools to kids under 12, with extra focus on strategies for children under 6.

Why do Young Children Need Coping Skills?

Young children are just beginning to understand emotions. Their brains are still learning how to manage frustration, disappointment, boredom, and fear. Coping tools help children:

• Recognise and name their feelings
• Learn that emotions are manageable
• Build confidence in their ability to calm down
• Feel more in control during stressful moments

By practising these tools when children are calm, we increase the chance they will use them when things feel hard.

1. Create a Calm-Down Box

A “calm-down box” is a collection of sensory and soothing items that help a child regulate when upset. Make it together with your child and add items such as:

• Bubbles (for breathing practice)
• Fidget toys or squishy balls
• Soft stuffed animals or textured fabric
• A mini photo album with happy memories
• A small jar of glitter or “calm-down bottle”
• Headphones with quiet music or white noise

Tip: Role-play using the box when a stuffed animal is “sad” or “mad.” This makes the tools feel accessible when your child needs them.

2. Play Feelings Charades

Help children learn to identify emotions by playing charades using faces and body language. Take turns acting out feelings like happy, tired, frustrated, or proud. You can also use flashcards with emoji-style faces.

Bonus idea: Create a “feelings mirror” where your child can practise making different expressions. Add silly faces to keep it playful.

3. Teach Balloon Breathing

Teach deep breathing with a fun visual. Pretend the belly is a balloon. Inhale to “blow it up,” then exhale slowly to “let it out.” Place a small stuffed animal on your child’s belly and have them watch it rise and fall.

Make it a game:

• “Can you do three balloon breaths like a lion calming down after a roar?”
• “Let us blow up our balloons together before bedtime!”

4. Use Coping Cards or a Coping Spinner

Coping cards are simple cue cards with one strategy per card (e.g., “Ask for a hug,” “Get a drink of water,” “Draw a picture,” “Jump 10 times”). For younger children, use pictures instead of words.

You can also create a coping spinner or wheel with visuals for each strategy. Let your child spin and try the one it lands on.

Why it works: When children are upset, they often forget their options. Visual tools make it easier to remember and choose something helpful.

5. Use Movement as a Regulation Tool

Children often cope through movement. Gross motor activities help release tension and reset the nervous system. Try:

• Animal walks (bear, crab, frog)
• Freeze dance
• Jumping jacks or “superhero jumps”
• A short yoga flow with animal poses

These can be used proactively during transitions or as part of a calm-down routine.

6. Tell the Story of the Feeling Monster (ages: 3–7)

Use storytelling to help children understand emotions and learn coping tools. Create a simple story about a “Feeling Monster” who feels overwhelmed. For example:

“Max the Monster felt all wiggly in his belly. His heart was pounding. He was MAD! But Max remembered his calm-down trick—his bubble breaths! He took three breaths, and his belly stopped wiggling…”

Let your child draw or colour their own monster and invent calming strategies for them.

7. Try a Coping Tool Scavenger Hunt

Hide visuals or objects related to coping skills around the house (e.g., a drawing of a deep breath, a photo of a calm place, a feather for soft breathing). As your child finds each one, practise it together.

This turns skill-building into a game and reinforces their emotional toolkit.

8. Build a Feelings Routine Into the Day

Make checking in on feelings part of everyday life. For example:

• Morning: “What colour is your mood today?”
• After school: “What was the biggest feeling you had today?”
• Bedtime: “What helped your body feel calm today?”

Routines build emotional awareness and make it easier to practise coping strategies regularly.

9. Set Up a Calm-Down Corner

A calm-down corner is a dedicated space (not a punishment area) where your child can go to feel better. Include:

• Soft lighting or a small tent
• Books about emotions
• Pillows, blankets, or a beanbag
• A visual board of calming choices (breathe, stretch, squeeze, ask for help)

You can call it a “peace corner,” “cozy corner,” or let your child name it.

Next Steps

Coping tools are more than just techniques—they are life skills that help children feel safe, understood, and empowered. Teaching coping skills to kids in playful, developmentally appropriate ways helps children actually use them when it matters most. If your child struggles with regulation, big emotions, or managing transitions, support from a counsellor can help.

At Willow and Sage Counselling, we offer therapy for children in Surrey, Burnaby, and through online sessions across British Columbia. We use fun, creative, and evidence-informed approaches that honour each child’s unique needs.

Want support in helping your child grow their coping toolbox? Reach out to Willow and Sage Counselling today, and view and download our resource cards. We are here to help you and your child thrive.